Richard Hayden: Hi, I'm Earth. Have we met?
[Stewardess looks confused]
Stewardess: I don't think so.
Gas Station Employee: I'm picking up your sarcasm.
Richard Hayden: That's because I'm laying it on you pretty thick.
Tommy: I called.
Richard Hayden: Oh, yeah? What number did you dial?
Tommy: three , seven , six, niner, five, two.....
Richard Hayden: You're kinda trailin' off there. And did I catch a "niner" in there? What were you calling from, a walkie talkie?
Tommy: It was a cordless.
Richard Hayden:You know what? Not here, not now.
Tommy: Did you hear I graduated?
Richard Hayden: Yeah and just a shade under a decade. All right.
Tommy: A lot of people go to college for seven years.
Richard Hayden: Yeah, they're called doctors.
[Tommy carelessly set an open bag of M&M's on the dashboard and they immediately poor into an open slot]
Richard Hayden: Oh that sounds good: melted chocolate inside the dash, that really ups the resale value!
Tommy: I think you'll be okay here, they have a thin candy shell. 'Surprised you didn't know that.
Richard Hayden: I think your brain has a thick candy shell.
Tommy: Your...Your brain has the shell on it.
Richard Hayden: Are you talking?
Tommy: Shut up, Richard.
Stewardess: I can get you on a flight coming BACK from Chicago. Does that help?
Richard Hayden: Hi, I'm Earth. Have we met?
[Stewardess looks confused]
Stewardess: I don't think so.
Tommy: Hey, What's your name?
Waitress: Helen.
Tommy: That's nice, you look like a Helen. Helen, were both in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a sales man. Let's say I go into some guys office and let's say hes even remotely interested in buying something. Well then I get all excited I'm like Jojo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. The pet is my possible sale. Oh , my pretty little pet, I love you. So I stoke it, and I pet it, and I massage it, hehe I love it, I love my little naughty pet, your naughty! Then I take my naughty pet and I go ( makes ripping noises as he tears apart the roll) Uuuuuuh! I killed it! I killed my sale! That's when I blow it. That's when people like us gotta forge ahead Helen, am I right?
Helen: God your sick."